When I See You In Heaven
by Jenny7
Summary: When the Cliffhangers lose one of their own they must find a way to say goodbye.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Don't bother suing me, you won't get anything more then some pocket change and maybe a couple tic tacs. And the lyrics are from the song "Sand and Water" by Beth Neilsen Chapman   
  
Authors Note: I'm sorry that all the chapters are so short. I had to divide it up this way or else it would make no sense. Well I hope you all like this. I came up with the idea at 2 AM this morning and woke up long enough to write it down. The best ideas always come in the middle of the night, don't they? =)   
  
  
"When I See You In Heaven"  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
'I will see you in the light of a thousand   
suns I will hear you in the sound of the   
waves I will know you when I come, as   
we all will come, Through the doors, beyond the grave'   
  
  
  
The funeral home parking lot was almost empty as the van pulled in. They had driven in silence, since no one could really think of anything to say. One of their own was gone. And today was the day that they would say their final goodbyes.   
Peter parked the van in the closest spot next to a red Lincoln. He knew the car well. Sophie glanced at him as she noticed the car. Hurt and rage filled her eyes.   
"You guys ready?" He asked the group without looked back. There was only silence in response. Sophie took over. She leaned over the seat and looked at the group.  
"I know this is difficult for you. Its difficult for Peter and I too. That's why we're here. As much as it hurts, we need to say our goodbyes."   
The group agreed and soon they were all heading silently inside the funeral home. Peter and Sophie were met by a man and woman, tear stains on their cheeks. They smiled a sad smile, but it was clear that neither of them were comfortable around the couple.   
The priest say a few words, followed by the student's parents. Finally it was time. Time to say goodbye.   
  



	2. Peter

  
  
PETER::  
  
  
He walked up to the coffin, hands folded in front of him. When he reached the body, he stopped. Catching the breath he had been holding for the entire walk, he tried to swallow the permanent lump in his throat. Finally regaining his courage, he reached out and touched the strands of hair on his student's head. The body was cold and pale. The make-up artist had done a good job, but still the healthy glow that was once in those cheeks was no longer present. He sighed and knelt down on the kneeler.  
  
'When I first heard the news I felt my heart shatter. I could not believe the words the doctor spoke. It just couldn't be. I made a promise to both, you, my now deceased student, and the couple that stood next to me. I had promised that no harm would come to you, that Horizon was safe for every student. So when had safe become so borderline? I talk to the kids about death because it is the reality that they'll all have to face one day, if they haven't had to already. I believe in telling them the truth because they have rights just as any other person has rights. They have the right to know if one of their close friends is dead.   
When I returned they had all been gathered in the lounge, obviously worried about you. I looked into every pair of eyes in that room and choked down tears as I confessed the unfortunate news of your death.   
"Why?" they had asked. "How could this happen?" What do I say? How do I tell them that there is just no reason. That things like this just happen, that death is all a part of life. That's what I was told at their age. I still asked questions, still searched for the answer that was just not there.   
I looked up at my beloved Sophie and almost broke down as I saw the tears falling down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away, obviously hoping I hadn't noticed. She pretends to be brave and tough, but I know better. I know better then to believe that any of the Cliffhangers would be ok with this. At least not right away. It would take a lot of time to heal from this tragedy. This on top of everything else that they had to deal with in their lives. Those seven kids were the strongest group I'd ever had the pleasure of teaching, and you were one of them.   
So you are gone. I was supposed to watch out for you but I didn't. I don't blame myself because, after many years of therapy, I know better. Still, I can't help but wonder if there was just something I could have said or done. Maybe if I had just been more compassionate, looked deeper into those eyes, I would have noticed it. Maybe if I had just done something. But now I'll never know. And my student is dead.'   
  
~Hanging his head he said a quick prayer and headed back towards his seat, wiping a tear from his eye.   



	3. Sophie

SOPHIE::  
  
She watched as her husband said his goodbyes. Bowing her head, she began to wipe the tears from her eyes. She had tried desperately to keep her composure. She wanted to remain strong for the others, the kids. The Cliffhangers needed her now more then ever. Peter needed her now. She had resumed the role of the rock. Sturdy, reliable, dependable. Strong. She had to remain strong among all things.   
But as she noticed Peter leave the kneeler and go back to his seat, new tears formed. It was time. It was her time. It was the last time she would speak to her student. Quickly finding the kneeler she used her hands to support herself until she reached the padded surface.   
  
'I'm sorry. Oh I'm so sorry. When I saw Peter walk in that day I knew what to expect. I had prepared myself for it. Just as I knew when that phone call came through that it was serious. 'The patients condition is deteriorating' said the nurse. 'You'd better come quickly.' I ran about a mile into the woods to find Peter. He was instructing the Ridge Runners on the rope courses. The look on his face when I approached him was one of total confusion. When I told him about the call he didn't flinch. I knew he was trying to remain strong for the kids. I knew that he was depending on me to do the same. So I did. I told the kids that everything would be fine. I helped a girl into her gear and even cheered her on. Because I had to be strong. But I'm not strong. I'm anything but. Because I'm a teacher and I wasn't there for you. When Peter hired me he trusted me with certain responsibilities. Did I fail him? No, I failed you. That's much worse. I didn't see the signs. I should know the signs, but I looked right past them. Sure, you were having a hard time. I knew that, we all knew that. But I thought everything would be ok if we could just talk about it. We did. Peter did. Where did I go wrong? Where did I mess up so badly that you are dead? I'm so sorry. Please, I need answers.'   
  
She reached out and touched the cold frail hand one last time. Standing up, she made a sign of the cross.   
"I'm sorry." With that she walked back to her seat.   



	4. Scott

SCOTT::  
  
He listened to the music radiating from the organ nearby. It brought back memories of good days. When things weren't so bad. When his friend was alive and smiling.   
As he strode toward the coffin, he tried to keep the tears from forming. This meant blinking every second, but it worked. He stared at the blank expression on the familiar face. For a full minute he did this. Finally he sighed and brushed his hair from his face. He knelt down as he had seen Peter and Sophie do, and made a sign of the cross.   
  
'I can't believe this is happening. It just can't be real. I remember when I first met you all, the Cliffhangers. Everything seemed strange to me at the time. This whole place was just a dream that I wanted to awake from. I'm not sure when you all became my friends, but it happened. You got past my guarded wall and into my heart. All of you. I hadn't expected to lose you so soon. If ever. When Peter called that meeting, I wasn't sure what it was about. I thought that maybe we were welcoming a newby into our group. I thought it would be nice to have some fresh blood, because to be honest some of them were starting to get on my nerves. When Peter told us, I felt like it wasn't real. I remember thinking that it was all some big mistake. This couldn't happen, not now. Horizon was supposed to save us. It saved me. I thought it had saved you. But I guess sometimes people can't be saved. At least that's what Peter said. Just like with Issac, but Issac isn't dead. I'm so angry! How stupid can someone be? Of all people...I thought you knew better. You did know better. You knew exactly what would happen. Couldn't you see that you were not alone? All of our families are messed up, dysfunctional. That's why were here. You didn't need to do this, you didn't need to leave us. Who am I kidding? Maybe its better this way. Maybe my you will be happy again. I hope so. I'm going to miss you though. I just hope we can meet again, someday.'   
  
Tears slid down his face as he stood from the kneeler and walked away. But he didn't go to his seat, he just walked out.   



	5. Shelby

SHELBY::  
  
She looked down at her shoes as she waited for her turn. The expression on her face could be read as either an intense anger or a confused sadness. Looking down at her shoes, she sighed.   
"Shel?" A voice from behind her inquired. She looked up to find that it was now her turn to say goodbye.   
"I'm not blind." She replied in a harsh whisper as she approached the coffin. Her dead friend lay motionless. Fingers were intertwined perfectly. Resting her knees on the kneeler she made a quick sign of the cross. Sighing, she stared at the face.   
  
'Well you've done it now. I thought you knew better. I guess I was wrong. I don't know what to say. Except that you look different. What's the word...at peace maybe? Yea, that's it. So why did you do it, huh? I mean, I guess we've all thought about it. I just never thought it would be you. Of all people. I remember when Peter told us about you, what had happened. I was in shock. My friend was dead. I mean...what do I mean? Your dead. Gone. Forever. So why do I keep thinking your going to jump up and yell "surprise!". I've seen enough dead bodies, and I know that your definitely not alive. But I still can't get that thought out of my head. I guess you died the way you would have wanted to though. You died the way you lived. I just hope that your at peace. See I really did like you. I know that I never really made that clear. I'm sorry. I can't believe I'm going to wake up tomorrow and your not. I can't believe I'm going to be cleaning pots and doing homework while your...somewhere else. Doing something else. I'm not sure if I believe in heaven, but I know that if there is one that's where you are. You deserve to be there more then anybody. I'm going to miss you, my friend. You were my friend, I wish I would have told you.'  
  
She stood and sniffled a bit. She had managed to hold her tears back, and turned back in search of a place to cry.   



	6. Auggie

AUGGIE::  
  
Hands in his pockets, he approached the dead body of his friend. He swallowed thickly and waited. He looked up and down the body. The nice clothes, the make-up, the motionless eyes. Slowly he knelt down on the kneeler. With a heavy sigh he bowed his head.   
  
'I don't know what to say. I mean, this isn't something they teach you in high school. In a way I wish they did. Then this wouldn't be so hard. How do I say goodbye to one of my best friends? How do I go on knowing that I'll never speak to you again? You were really special you know? Not like my classmates at my old school. Not like the kids in my neighborhood. You were so smart. So how could you be so stupid? You knew what would happen, didn't you? Of course you did. When Peter told us you were dead I called him a liar. I'm surprised he didn't put me on shuns...or worse. I wish he had been lying. I would go on shuns for the rest of my life if I knew he was lying. If I didn't have to be looking at your body right now. So you finally did it. You killed yourself. You've been trying to for years haven't you? So how does it feel? I know how I feel. I feel angry and guilty at the same time. But someone has to be angry at you! Somebody has to because if you were alive we would all be angry. We would also be happy though because we wouldn't have to see you like this. We wouldn't have to say goodbye. So I guess being angry is pointless. Peter would say its normal. Nothing about Horizon is normal though. Well adios my friend, I guess I'll see you on the other side.'  
  
He raised himself from the kneeler and touched the head of his friend as he followed the line back to his seat.   



	7. Juliette

JULIETTE::  
  
She choked back her tears as she slowly made her way towards the front of the room. Covering her mouth to stop the loud sobs, she knelt down in front of her friend. She paused for a minute, closing her eyes. As if the act of looking at the body was too much to bear. Finally, she opened them and took a deep breath. Reaching out, she touched the lifeless hand. Then she began to pray.   
  
'God, please, are you there? Is anybody there? Please, you have to help my friend. Please let my friend be ok. Why? Why did you do this? You could have come to me, you could have talked to me about it. You didn't have to do this. I can't believe that your really gone. I can't believe that this is happening. I miss you so much already and its only been two days. Please, God, is there any way you can make things different? Please just rewind backwards so I can tell my friend to stop. Then I could have helped. I could have stopped this from happening. My whole life I've tried to be in control of everything. And I wasn't in control, not when it came to being your friend. I do things, I hurt myself. I even thought about suicide. But I never did it because I knew that it would hurt everybody around me. It should have been me. I'm the messed up one around here. I'm the one who throws up and uses razors to cut myself, at least I used to. Of all of us I should have been the one. God how am I going to go on? How I am going to live knowing that my friend is dead? I'm going to miss you and I'll never forget you. If only things could have been different. If only.'   
  
Now openly sobbing, she put her hands to her face. Peter, seeing her emotional state, slowly took her by her shoulders and led her away.   



	8. David

DAVID::  
  
He walked properly up to the casket, mimicking the others in the room. Feeling awkward, he tugged at his shirt collar. As he looked down at his friend, a profound sadness crossed his face. It was an expression he rarely let anyone see.   
  
'So you really did it huh? I never would have thought it. Not you. Maybe Jules...maybe even Scott. But you? Never. I don't know what to say. I'm not very good at saying the right thing, but I guess you already know that huh? It was scary. When Peter walked in and told us what had happened to you. I've never felt that down before. I mean I have, I've just always been able to cover it up. In the past I'd either take drugs or start fights. Play pranks on people to make believe everything was ok. But not today. I don't know what Peter and Sophie did to me, but I know that it hurts to see you in that casket. You were the first person I could talk to here. It was hard to come to this new place. You showed me around, and I guess I never thanked you or anything. So thanks. You and I, were a lot alike. I know you'd kill me if you heard me say that. But I mean it. You of all people know I'm not serious very often. I'm going to miss you. I just hope that your happy wherever you are. I hope that you can find your peace. And maybe you could come visit us down here every so often. It sure couldn't hurt to have an angel around whenever I mess up, maybe you can even warn me sometime before I get caught. Na, you've covered for me enough. Thank you for that.'   
  
Slowly he stood up and brushed his hands on his pants. He smiled at his friend and walked back to his seat, head down and hands in his pockets.   



	9. Daisy

DAISY::  
  
She stared at David as he knelt carefully next to the body. She had insisted he go ahead of her. She wanted to be last, mainly because she wasn't sure what to do. Her best friend was dead, and she still hadn't cried for him. Ringing her hands, she let herself lean against the back of pew. She let her eyes wander up, to the very ceiling of the chapel. Stained glass covered the upper walls. Pictures of baby Jesus and lambs were everywhere. Her every instinct told her to run out of that church and never return. But when Sophie touched her shoulder and pointed to the empty kneeler, she knew she had to go.   
  
'Ezra, come on Ezra wake up. I know your not really dead. I know that your just going to jump up and tell me that this was all some big cosmic joke to get attention. Come on Ezra, please. I don't understand Ezra. I don't understand why you did this. So your parents treat you bad. Join the club. We're all here because of our parents. I once asked you who you would die for. You said no one. I actually thought you meant it. Death is a funny thing. Its so horrible and frightening, but its also peaceful and mysterious. So I guess you solved the mystery now. Maybe someday I'll do the same. But not now. Damn it Ezra why did you let them beat you! You were stronger then them! Now what am I supposed to do? My best friend took too many drugs and left me. What am I supposed to do now?'  
  
She glanced back at the other Cliffhangers, who had gathered by the door.   
  
'Its getting late. I have to go back to Horizon. I just want to say that you are one of the best friends I've ever had.'   
  
She paused to laugh quietly.  
  
'I know...your also one of the only friends I've ever had. I'm going to miss you Ezra. I don't blame you for doing this, I don't blame myself either. I guess...I guess I'm just a little angry that God would let this happen. To you, of all people. I have something for you.'  
  
She pulled out a tea bag.  
  
'You once gave me one of these and asked me to read the leaves for you. Well I didn't read these leaves, I figured you'd find better use for them. Just in case they don't have any caffeine wherever you are.'  
  
She stood to leave.  
  
'I love you Ezra. Goodbye my friend.'  
  
She leaned down and kissed her friend's forehead. She smiled and walked towards the exit.  



End file.
